Grace is just Weakness
by TPHPSW15
Summary: I refuse to let Killian go untouched from the shattered sight spell, so I wrote this (Set between Ice Queen and Queen's of Darkness, I wrote this very quickly)


Emma was sitting in her chair, checking over reports of the town, everything was under control and there was that couple months of peace until another villain or villains would arrive. She knew it wouldn't last long, so she always took advantage by spending time with everyone as much as she could. Most people did. Belle was still 'mending' to say the least. Everyone in the town was still forgiving and apologizing for the fighting, or just laughing about it, which her parents did. Regina and Henry were still on the hunt-down for the author, but weren't worried about it too much considering they just finished taking down a conflict and were more relaxing in the moment. You could tell the town was out of the woods from the last problem, but everyone knew a new one would be around the corner, and it didn't stop anyone from living their lives, they simply were just prepared for it.

Completing her work for the day she shut off the computer and grabbed her jacket from the rack, she slipped into it and headed out the door. She collided into a Killian holding a cup of coffee and it exploded all over the both of them. He had been drinking a lot of coffee lately.

''Oh, Killian I'm sorry,'' Emma apologized immediately.

''It's alright love, didn't have enough cream in it anyway,'' he replied shaking it off his hand.

Emma looked him up and down ''none for me?''

''Well I bought you something else,'' he said digging in a pocket and taking out a small velvet rectangle box and handing it over.

''Oh Killian...jewelry.''

She opened it to reveal a bronze chain necklace with a green pendant. She looked at him surprised ''how much did this cost?''

''Don't be impressed, I didn't have the money for the one I actually wanted to get you,'' Killian admitted shyly.

''You didn't have to,'' she said marveling at it, then she lowered it and squinted at him ''what do you want out of this?''

''A man can't buy materialistic things for his lady,'' he answered smirking.

''Yes he can, but this man I'm looking at usually has a reason.''

Killian smirked again at his fault and her notice of it ''I was going to ask you out tonight.''

Emma gasped and face-palmed ''I have to babysit Neal tonight.''

''Well then I will go over there.''

''Are you sure?''

''Yeah, I've been meaning to get acquainted with the small lad.''

Emma thought about it for a while ''whatever you say.''

''Great, until then, I'm going to go buy another cup of coffee,'' he chuckled looking at his clothes and hers.

Later that night her parents left for their regular night out, they kissed Neal and Emma goodbye and left closing the door behind them.

''Okay kid, it's us by ourselves for a little bit, let's go see what's on TV.''

Neal sat in his playpen as Emma channel surfed for something decent, and a knock at the door broke her concentration. She threw the remote next to her and answered it letting Killian into the room.

''So what do you want me to make?''

''Sorry,'' Killian said not understanding her question.

''For dinner.''

''Oh...I don't mind.''

Emma walked over to the kitchen as Killian sat on the couch looking at the TV in confusion, he had learned what it was, but was still intrigued. He gazed down at Neal he was staring up at him and snuggling a toy. Killian smiled and turned to Emma.

''Do you think anyone would mind if I...you know-''

Emma looked behind her to see what he was speaking of ''oh yeah, go ahead.''

Killian took off the hook and lifted Neal out of the playpen laying him in his lap, and booped his nose gently. Emma glanced over and did a double take.

''This isn't your first time holding a child is it?''

''No it's not, some of my crewmen were fathers,'' he admitted still looking at the infant.

Neal started getting fussy, and he put him back swiftly. There was pause and Killian mumbled to himself ''I want one.''

Emma heard him and instantly froze ''what,'' she said, a hint of fear in her tone.

''What,'' Killian retorted regretting the statement and acting as if he didn't mention it.

There was a long silence, staring at each other.

''I'm going to continue dinner.''

''That's a good idea.''

Emma sat down with Killian and they watched a movie eating their dinner, every now and then Emma would peer at Neal for a few seconds and then force her mind to change the topic.

David and Mary Margaret returned home a little after the credits started to roll and didn't expect Killian over, but weren't against it.

''What movie were you two watching,'' Snow asked curiously.

''I didn't like it, it was not accurate...not even close, it was almost terrifying,'' Killian responded rambling.

Emma mouthed 'Peter Pan' to her mother and they tried to contain their laughter as the pirate went on about the humiliation and downright offensive portrayal.

''Swan, this isn't funny...I have serious issues with this.''

''You're not suppose to take it seriously.''

''Obviously, they used an actual crocodile.''

Even David was holding back a chuckle as they made their way up the stairs.

''You're not going to let this go are you.''

''Well...they got Smee right.''

Emma laughed at that one.

Killian looked at the clock on the wall and stood up readjusting his jacket ''I think I need to get going, it's late.''

Emma mad a sad face and he gave her a kiss ''I'll see you tomorrow, maybe even lose another cup of coffee,'' he joked.

Emma rolled her eyes ''you're not letting that go either.''

''Of course not.''

He kissed her once more on the cheek and walked out the door, she shut it behind him and went to bed.

Killian didn't go home to his room at Granny's, instead he walked down to the beach and lied on the dock watching the stars for a while, letting his mind roam free as the open air filled his lungs with release. He did this every now and then, not for any specific reason, but just to be alone and think. Gazing at the constellations, he listened to the waves and the sound of the last cars going down the street. He felt something get in his eye, assuming it was sand he rubbed it away.

After he was there for a little under an hour, he finally got up and headed home. He strolled down the sidewalk, looking over across the street, he saw Belle locking up the library for the night. He jogged over to her, and she looked up with a smile.

''Hello Killian, do you need something?''

''Yes, I was wondering something...are you still in love with the crocodile,'' he said slyly.

Belle shifted her weight and was taken aback ''just because he's still evil and making mistakes, doesn't mean I hate him, and you haven't called him crocodile for a while.''

Killian licked his lips and leaned in and stared her down ''I think ever being in love with him was your mistake.''

A tear streaked down Belle's face and she brushed it away, turning away briskly to walk back home. She stopped and looked back at Killian ''I hope that whatever bad day you have to of had to say that gets better.''

Morning came around and Emma got out of bed to start breakfast, finding her father had already made it and Snow sitting on the couch with baby Neal. Emma grabbed a chair from under the counter and plopped into the seat with a sigh.

''I am starving,'' Emma commented to her father.

''Is that code for I want all the bacon,'' he smirked peering at her.

''It is,'' she said happily.

David sat a plate down and slid some bacon onto it. Emma wolfed it down and Mary Margaret showed up next to her.

''I was going on a walk around with Neal in a bit, you're invited.''

''I'm up for that,'' she replied getting up and putting her plate in the sink.

David finished making his breakfast and retreated to upstairs with it. Emma headed to her room to change out of her pajamas when her phone started ringing on the counter she was eating at. She spun around heading back to answer it.

''Hello,'' she said leaning on the counter top.

''Hey it's Belle, do you know if Killian is okay?''

Emma became concerned ''he should be, why?''

''Well last night as I was leaving the library, he kind of insulted me.''

''What did he do,'' Emma responded surprised.

''He told me that ever loving Rumple was a mistake, I thought maybe he had a bad day.''

''Belle I'm sorry, I'll ask him about it when I see him later.''

''That's not it though...he also called Rumple crocodile, which you know is weird because-''

''Because he hasn't called him that in a while, I know, I'll figure out what's going on, how are you, it didn't get to you too badly did it?''

''Well like I said, I assumed he was feeling bad or something, which is why I called.''

''Don't worry, I'll make sure he apologizes.''

''Okay, thank you.''

''Bye,'' Emma hung up and sat the phone down, seeming phased.

Snow walked over bouncing Neal in her arms ''what was that about?''

''Belle said that Killian insulted her last night.''

''Do you believe her?''

''Of course, but at the same time I don't see Killian doing that, unless something wasn't okay.''

''Would you like to cancel our walk?''

''No, I can go over and ask him about it after,'' Emma stood there for a couple of seconds then went to her room to change.

When they were ready, Emma and Snow with a Neal in his stroller left the apartment and went for their walk. Emma ate a cold slice of pizza she took from the fridge before leaving.

They had made it hallway down the main road from their apartment to the docks when the topic of Killian rose up.

''So what do you think made Killian upset last night,'' Emma asked.

''I don't know, he had a date with you last night, so his day couldn't of been too terrible.''

''Well what would've happened in the hour between leaving our house Belle closing the library.''

They started walking in silence thinking and suddenly, there was a hoarse yell coming from behind them. Emma turned around to see Killian walking out from Granny's and heading straight for them.

''Speaking of which,'' Mary Margaret said, motioning for Emma to go to him.

''SWAN,'' he screamed again, Emma had then realized he was pissed.

''I need to talk to you,'' Emma said calmly.

What he did was not calmly.

''So do I,'' he answered bitterly, marching right up to her, and slapped her without hesitation.

Snow still standing a few meters back, froze as her jaw dropped in dismay.

''KILLIAN, WHAT THE HELL,'' Emma shouted holding her cheek.

''That's for leaving me on top of that god-for-saken beanstalk.''

''REALLY...THAT WAS TWO YEARS AGO,'' Emma still screamed at him.

''And a day I regret.''

Emma wasn't sure where this came from, but knew it needed to stop ''Killian, this isn't you.''

''You're right...if it was, I would've already had my dick in you,'' Emma and Snow realized right then, this was getting real ''but no, I have to deal with a women who can barely love herself, little alone love another.''

''Killian, do you hear yourself right now, because your sounding like someone else.''

''Go ahead, say it, I SOUND LIKE HOOK, you should call me that, I know you don't give a shit that I'm trying to change for you, might as well not, am I right.''

Emma took a deep breath and tried to compose herself, trying to understand what his reasoning was.

''Killian, are you okay?''

''Never been better love.''

''Why are you saying these things,'' Emma asked staying strong in her tone.

''Because I've finally seen the truth,'' he said darkly.

''Seen the truth,'' Emma mumbled to more herself, running the words over her mind.

''I don't love you, never have, I was just trying to get in your pants, but I'm patient now,'' he went to slap her again, but she caught his wrist and handcuffed it with the spare pair she kept in her jacket pocket just in case.

''Sorry Killian, but I'm going to deal with you after I get you behind bars.''

Killian fought against her grip as she dragged him to the station. He would wiggle his hook out of her hand and try to hit her, but she would get ahold of him again and push him along to the sheriff department.

She opened the door and shoved him in, she closed her eyes for a second, blinking away tears of his constant torturous phrases the whole way there. She threw open the door to the cell and pushed Killian in locking the bar door behind him. He spun around and reached out for her between the bars trying to attack her again. Emma jumped back missing any damage from the hook, she knew he would regret this later if he snapped out of this.

Killian was breathing heavily from anger and it was present in his expression, his eyebrows were furrowed and the natural appearance of his eyes were and replaced with a stormy atmosphere about them. Emma squinted staring at them and seeing the detail, they looked different. Of course he was enraged so they had that feel in them, but they physically were different, like as if they were glossed over almost. Emma thought it over and Killian's comment brought her back noticing she was still gazing at him.

''What are you admiring, lass, because I know it's not me,'' Killian remarked with spite.

''Oh my god,'' Emma blurted, suddenly putting it together.

The door of the office was opened and David came stomping through, a face of someone Emma never thought she would see coming from him.

''I'm gonna kill him,'' Emma knew he was serious and ran in front of her father.

''Dad no, stop, it's not his fault,'' Emma announced.

''What's not my fault, that I should have known I was too good for you from the start.''

David tried to move around Emma to get to Killian, but she put her hands up to stop him again.

''It's the shattered sight spell.''

David immediately looked away from Killian to Emma ''what?''

''I was getting my suspicions when he said something earlier, 'I've seen the truth', I know that sounded like what a spell would make someone say.''

''How would it be the shattered sight spell, the Ice Queen undid it.''

''I don't know.''

''Doesn't the spell only work on a person once, because that happened to Anna,'' David added.

''You're right...but Mr. Gold had Killian's heart at the time, so...''

''What if that kept him from getting affected,'' David said finishing the sentence ''Has he told you were he might of ran into it.''

''Guys, I'm right here, but I guess I'm not surprised, both of you tend to ignore me.''

''Killian, what did you do after you left the apartment?''

''I went to the docks,'' he reached out hit David and missed, ''then I left and went home, passed by Belle, gave her my opinion.''

''I'll go down to the docks, you stay here with him,'' Emma said pointing towards Killian and heading for the door.

''Emma no, you weren't affected by the spell either, I was, so it would be more safe if you stayed here.''

''I know you're right, but I don't want to be left here.''

''You can defend yourself, I have faith in you,'' he father praised.

''I know I can, but what about defending myself from what he says,'' she whispered to keep her voice from cracking at the end.

''You'll be fine Emma, just stay one step ahead,'' he hugged her goodbye and ran out the door.

Emma turned around to see Killian leaning up against the bars and his arms dangling out, he rolled his eyes.

''I suppose this means I have to stare at you even longer, I can understand why I'm in this cell now.''

Emma sat down at her desk, and opened a magazine beginning to look through it for a distraction.

''You're not going to talk to me are you...just as usual lass, ignoring those who love you most, however I'm starting to realize I'm not one of those people.''

Emma continued keeping to herself as she flipped through the pages and reading whatever article would drown out his voice.

* * *

Meanwhile, David ran back to the apartment as fast as he could, ignoring anything along the way and up the stairs to the front door. He came threw the door and barged into the room where Mary Margaret was walking by coming from the bathroom and jumped from the abruptness.

''We found out what's wrong with Killian,'' he said almost having to stop for breaths.

''Really?''

''Yeah, but we need to get to the docks quickly, come on.''

David ran down to the docks as Mary Margaret waited for her babysitter to arrive, then followed after.

They got to the docks and looked around for over an hour and finally Mary Margaret saw something shining on the ground. They both ran up to it and David picked it up, it was almost a dust, but if you looked closely, it was small pieces of mirror. They checked it over and finally gathered all the shards, putting them in a bag.

David pulled out his phone and dialed Emma to inform her of the progress.

Emma was still sitting at the desk, Killian was laying on the bed in the cell, out of things to rant about, but she could tell he would start up again at any time. Her phone went off, and so did Killian.

''Oh, and you never answer you're phone, you force me integrate into this worlds customs and then when I do my best to use it, you don't care...,'' he went on, but Emma answered the phone.

''Hello.''

''We found the extra mirror pieces at the docks, we're going to check around town, because if these were missed, other places could've been too.''

''Alright, be careful.''

''I want you to send out a warning that anyone who wasn't affected by the spell go get indoors, if there was any.''

''Understood, love you.''

''You too, bye.''

Emma sat the phone down and went back to reading an interesting article, which wasn't actually interesting at all. Emma was bored out of her mind, but letting her mind wander, Killian input a few comments.

''If you followed orders the way you do with others, ooh, imagine.''

Emma just rolled her eyes, he was running out of material, she hoped maybe the spell would break randomly out of nowhere, but that wasn't the case.

''Hey Swan, if you let me out, I promise I won't tell you what a unforgiving bitch you are...oops, seems my mind got the better of me,'' he bit his lip trying to manipulate her, but it wasn't working ''you know, don't let me out, I wouldn't have anywhere to go, and don't have a ship to take me, can you tell me why that is.''

When Killian acknowledged that she wasn't going to pay attention to his rants, he moved it up to the next level.

He screamed and began trying to break the cell door down, Emma flinched from the sudden scream, and closed her eyes, forcing more tears back. She knew it wasn't him, or wasn't exactly him, but it still hurt to hear anything hateful from his voice. It hurt her more knowing he would beat himself up about this, no matter how much she said it was okay.

''SWAN, DON'T YOU IGNORE ME,'' he bellowed still tearing at the bars.

Emma got up and walked into her office behind the glass walls and sat down continuing her magazine there, which she was rereading for the second time now.

She read half a page, and glanced back up to check on him, and the cell door was broken open. Emma threw down the magazine and took a ready stance, Killian busted down the glass wall and stepped through, wearing a evil grin.

''Hello lass.''

''Shit.''

Emma ran out of the room and back into open office Killian right behind, raising his hook to strike her, and she stepped back and took defense on the other side of a desk.

''Killian stop, I'm not going to fight you, I don't want to hurt you,'' Emma said shaking.

''Why not, you've knocked me out with that compass before...don't get me started on when I got hit by the car.''

''That was different,'' Emma said anticipating which way he would go around he desk.

''You never trusted me since day one, because no one ever loved you, is that right, and the ones who did died, I'm beginning to see why.''

Emma felt a tear escape down her cheek, but she acted as if it wasn't there ''Killian, you need to stop before you do something you truly regret.''

''The only thing I regret, is not doing this when we first met,'' he reached over the table with his hook and thrashed it at her again, thankfully still missing.

Killian ran around the table and Emma took off towards her office again, going through the shattered wall he made earlier. He ran into her and tackled her to the ground instantly, then sat on top of her, bringing his hook to her throat and it across her face slowly. Emma grabbed whatever object she felt in her grasp that had fallen off the desk and decked him with it, it turned out to be a tape holder. He toppled over into a sprawl on the floor, now unconscious, Emma got up and looked him over. She started silently crying, but wiped the tears away, and sniffled a few times, getting it to eventually end. Then she was faced with her next problem, getting him back to his cell.

She took him by his jacket collar and literally dragged him back into the cell, and took off his hook now that it was safe to, she scolded herself for not doing it when she brought him in, knowing he might of picked the lock with it.

David and Mary Margaret ran into the office, and stopped seeing the disarray of everything, Emma sat in a chair a few feet away from the cell, Killian laying on the floor, his hook sitting on the table and Emma was drinking from his flask.

''Look what I found while getting him back in the cell,'' she ended the sentence with another swig.

''What happened,'' they asked.

''Well, I looked away, and he picked the lock, we got into a very intense game of cat and mouse, and then I knocked him out,'' Emma took another sip ''thankfully nothing too bad happened.''

Killian started stirring, and groaned, covering his eyes with his hand, then sat up.

''Swan,'' he said confused, but also his normal way.

Emma shrugged her shoulders and put her hands in the air in frustration ''and apparently the spell wares off if you knock them out, would've been nice to know that last week.'' She stood up and walked over to the cell handing the flask to Killian ''you may want this back.''

''Swan,'' he said again.

''Hi, I'd ask you if your head hurts, but you probably wouldn't tell me,'' Emma turned to her parents ''how did it go?''

''We checked the town the best we could, put every piece we found in a bag, and threw it over the town line, so if anyone comes along, they will be rich in plastic bags.''

''How many other places were there?''

''All in all, there were 3, but we were using small bags.''

Killian finally stood up once the room stopped spinning and took a sip from his flask ''oh god Swan,'' he said panicked.

''No, I don't want to hear it, all I want to hear is some funny joke or let me out of the cell now.''

''Swan,'' his voice broke and she could see the pools accumulating at the corner of his eyes and knew there was know talking him out of the guilt of this one.

''We'll give you some privacy,'' Mary Margaret said as she took David along with her.

Emma opened the cell door and walked in, he moved over to her quickly before she could even react, and ran his thumb over her cheek, brushing her hair back.

''Love, did I harm you,'' he said mumbled.

''No Killian, it's okay,'' Emma said smiling at him.

Killian touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes ''you know I won't forgive myself for this.''

''I know,'' Emma replied quietly and ran her hand through his hair.

Right when Emma thought he was going to pull away, he hugged her tighter and his knees buckled, them sinking to the floor together. Emma really knew he didn't need to apologize if this was getting to him so much.

She held his face out, he looked like he was in pain, and she brushed away the tears with her thumbs as she still held him.

''I've lost people too, and I don't want you to be one.''

''You won't lose me,'' Emma whispered ''I forgive you, you hear that, you did nothing wrong.''

''But doesn't the spell just bring up buried feelings.''

''Don't do that to yourself, your reaction to it right now, tells me that's not true.''

''I made you cry,'' his voice broke again.

''That doesn't matter, I forgive you for all of it, you understand.''

''Aye, love,'' he said kissing her on her forehead.


End file.
